A New Year, a New Start

This time of year certainly seems to bring out the hopeful in everyone. Many of us make New Year's Resolutions in hopes of making a significant change in our lives only to give up a portion of the way through the year. I've always tried to be realistic in my resolutions and as I reflected upon this past year, I decided that this year's resolution would be to live in the moment more. I tend to live in the future: "Next year will be better because...," next summer will be better because I'll have more time to quilt," "next Christmas will be better because I'll have a better job and more ability to buy gifts." 

I have been living so much in the future, that I've forgotten to live in the present. Yes, my life has not been what I'd hoped for lately, but everyone has those thoughts. Yes, there's not much in my present that I wanted to celebrate, but that attitude is not making me happy and I need to change my frame of mind. Last week, I'd caught myself pining over the life I used to have when it dawned on me that I hadn't actually had that life in several years and I needed to move on. I won't ever have what I used to have. I will always have a history of a failed marriage and some of the insecurities that go along with the reasons it ended. But that doesn't mean that I should settle for living in a time other than right now and what I can do right now. I can build upon what I currently have and make a better life for myself. Life is rarely how we plan it, but it doesn't have to be a marker of doom or gloom. We can celebrate in the mercies and blessings God has shown us and the strength He gives us every day to continue on.

This year, I will be focused on the here and now.

Trial by Fire and Pain

As you may or may not know, this blog was never a personal blog. Yes, my personal life would creep in, but the primary purpose was always to display my work and share it with the larger crafting community. However, I do feel obligated to share a little of why I have been absent for more than a year. School did take up quite a bit of my time, then the loss of my beloved sewing companion certainly was painful as well. All the while, apparently my husband was losing interest in our marriage. A long story quite short, after a year of discontent, he filed for divorce in March 2014 and we are still in negotiations to finalize.  To say I was devastated is an understatement. To hear what others (including him) are saying about our dissolving marriage was painful, but as I sat alone this Saturday and "celebrated" our 11th anniversary I had a break through. I have been depressed for months and completely unhappy with the recent turn of events - including my incredibly demeaning retail job, but I am deciding to work on the positive and see the potential instead of the loss in this process. I can only change me and that is who I will be working on and towards from now on.

I have moved to my parents' place on the East coast and my possessions are in storage. So, while I want to work on crafts, I'm not sure what I'll be able to work on in the next few months while I get back on my feet, but definitely look for more posts soon as I do work on things. :)